so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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