he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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