This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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