Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
