We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
