this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
