I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
