ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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