Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
