we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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