We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
...so i touched it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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