Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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