In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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