Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
