You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
