Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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