That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It was like giving head to a cactus.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
