So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
