why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
