so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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