Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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