I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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