forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
