I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
