I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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