never play flip cup with pint glasses
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
