I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
