Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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