he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
