Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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