1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
