Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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