Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
