Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
