Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
