Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
