I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
