My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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