Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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