You're completely useless in the revolution.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
