the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
