Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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