somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
