FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Can I color on your dick again?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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