so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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