Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
