The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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