Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hope mine doesn't look like that
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
