I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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