I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
we're making bets on your personal life
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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