i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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