clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
